Recognize That Stereotypes and Stigmas Weaken Everyone Involved. Stereotypes cripple progress. They eliminate or diminish the contributions of the victims and limit the perspectives of those who stereotype. Learn a lesson from your children or grandchildren about how they naturally embrace diversity in their lives with friends of many colors and backgrounds. They clearly understand our future.

 

Explore Your Unconscious Fears. Fears of equality may be driven by our perceptions of personal loss or the “scarcity mentality.” We saw evidence of this in the recent presidential election. Since we have never been under the leadership of a black man before, many white people believed if a black man were elected president, they would be losing their status in this country. There is an old African proverb: “Many of us would rather live in a familiar hell than go to unknown heavens.” We cannot let our fear of the unknown paralyze us as individuals or as a society.

 

Identify Your Emotional Attachment. When you experience a threat to your identity, such as stereotyping, your first response is emotional defensiveness, which makes others defensive as well. We have to ask ourselves, “Why does this person or this situation make me feel this way?” We have to take responsibility for our own emotions.

 

Use Acts of Ignorance as Springboards for Learning. Every day we see occurrences of unfair treatment. These occurrences can be used as teachable moments for ourselves, our families, and even for those who are perpetuating the stereotype. I recall standing in line at an airport and a group of older white men stepped in front of me as though I wasn’t there. When acts of human disrespect happen, you have to make it your responsibility to shed the weight of it being discrimination and make it a teaching opportunity. In my case, I simply said, “Excuse me, I was in line. Now if you’d like to ask me if you can move up, that would be fine.”

 

Create a Collaborative Environment. Whenever possible, create opportunities in which you can truly engage and interact with other people and celebrate your common beliefs. Our response to recent disasters like Hurricane Ike and Katrina demonstrates how we are all genuinely concerned about one another and how we all want to make a difference in this world. When cultural differences do arise, embrace them. Learn about others’ beliefs and traditions or, as I like to say, “Show me how to do your dance.”

 

Demonstrate Uncensored Forgiveness. This is a reciprocal act. You have to forgive yourself for allowing someone else’s actions or opinions of you to dictate how you feel about yourself, and the other person must forgive themselves for participating in the discrimination. For instance, as a black person, I must forgive my culture and our society for inappropriate actions during certain periods of time. As a white person, you must ask forgiveness for the actions of your ancestors and then forgive yourself for possibly perpetuating such acts. This is what I call uncensored forgiveness. It’s hard work, but if we could all engage in this type of thinking, our possibilities would be boundless. We could achieve the impossible—we could actually create a new world. —Nancy Grund

 

 

 

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